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Thoughts of a dreamer

·by Γεωργία Λευκοφρύδη·On-going Novl duration N/A

Thoughts of a dreamer

6 years of silence! (how the circle broke)

Free chapter·Duration 1 mins·byΓεωργία Λευκοφρύδη

In today's article you will learn how I lost my voice for almost 6 years but also managed to break the cycle of silence

At the beginning of my childhood, I faced many difficulties

I was denied many things, I was angry, I cried often, I didn't like being touched (now it doesn't bother me so much)

I was holding enough things inside me

I remember because I was older than other kids I didn't know how to behave as a woman or a child

As a 10 year old I had the body and height of a 15 year old

I didn't feel like a little kid

From a small time I carried some labels that were stuck to me

I knew they didn't, but sometimes I had doubts about myself

I was very close to sharing my own problem

I was in pain several times but didn't say anything

I always had a smile on my lips you would say I was fooling them all

At one point I was bored of them all

And you know why?

Because everyone thinks they know it all and you do not try to get in your place

All they know is talk and judgment

To see and to be indifferent

I left because I felt trash inside me

I left because I felt like a monster

Then I was depressed

At the same time there were some difficult situations at home

At that time I remember that my grandmother had her leg broken

Many had fallen together

I didn't want to go to school

I continued to find excuses

I did not like it

They can't stand to see me alone

I couldn't speak to anyone

I had no confidence in anyone

Thoughts then went through my mind

I didn't read, I had quit

I also gave up on English for a while

You would say I was missing myself (the depression we were talking about)

I began to lose weight even more

As I swallowed all my problems

I no longer felt anything for anyone

I felt a gap

And to tell you the truth, I loved people

I didn't want to bother you

Come on but that wasn't respected

Why you see normal in this world is to be very extroverted and to talk constantly

And if you don't talk and you're closed what are you?

For them you may be a curious plant antisocial abnormal etc.

I was very hurt that time

I didn't really care if I was going to have a chick what to wear in the club (nonsense for an even more disgusting generation)

You see the fun is neither the club nor the bouzouki

It's fun to have a good time with a few friends and that's music

But again these are a taste

At one point I thought I might have something

Closed a lot I had few people

It took a lot of time on my part

So I can regain my self-esteem and my confidence in people

It's hard

The signs have been haunting me for some time

But are they just words?

Yes but sometimes the words hurt

And even the strongest you can kill

Six years ago I killed myself

And you know why

Because I thought I was doing everything wrong

That's why I stopped talking

Because I was a perfectionist

I was not a good student

I didn't do it

The charges were gone

The signs were gone

And slowly I became something I wasn't

I felt empty

Frozen without feelings

Everyone is trying to show how superior they are and how good they are

There was so much competition

I felt imprisoned for 6 years

That's why I left

Are you sorry?

No I didn't regret it because if I had died

During that time I was flooded with a lot of guilt, I felt I was doing nothing good I felt useless

Depression hit me relentlessly

And yes there were some people that we did very well to break my psychology

I wanted to die

But for some reason something was holding me back

I had a power within me

I was going to leave and let me be alone

I didn't want to go through the same thing again

And I finally realized that I was a fine person

I just didn't have the right people around me

Because you see power and money are very attractive to some

And when a person is short of both he is considered indifferent

Very wrong society you disagree with;

That is why we finally have such miserable and aggressive people in Greece

Because they can't reconcile with a little bit

But come on, that's not the case

Think you've got a chocolate

You will eat it or not

Will you fall into sin?

Here I want you!

I met many people in my life but few remained

They are not perfect but they are true

They are not franks but they have hearts

Because as my grandmother used to say, to sell berries you have to have

Anyway let's go back to the subject

Growing up and understanding some things

You understand what is valuable and what is not

At 21 I am very conscious

I had a good time and bad

And I cried and I was in pain

And I was left alone

And people I didn't want to see

And I had agoraphobia

And panic attacks

And at some point, depression hit me again

And then I found myself again

It was very difficult to find him

6 years of silence! (how the circle broke)·End of chapter·Please vote
Γεωργία Λευκοφρύδη
Γεωργία Λευκοφρύδη
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